For an article I’m writing for a parenting magazine, I’m assembling a list I’m affectionately dubbing “the must-have new mom posse”. (That does NOT say pussy, you pervs.)

I need real women to weigh in on the specific sorts of peeps they had (or wished they had) around after bringing home baby. NOTE: You can say you dreamed of having a wet nurse, but I probably won’t include that in the piece. Because, you know, ewwwww.

My youngest, Sasha, at one-week-old. She looked like this for the next six months. Clearly I needed a posse.

My list might look something like this:

The totally together friend with kids. She’s already read all of the books and done all of that tedious vaccine research. When she tells you what to do, you can do it without second-guessing yourself.

The helpful hubby. Just because you have a hubby doesn’t mean he’s necessarily helpful–at least without your guidance. (This one would include training tips for the new dad.)

The single friend. Because she’s not burdened with soccer games and buried under mountains of laundry, she’ll have more time for you than your married friends–and she’ll likely never tire of holding the baby.

The thorough but mellow pediatrician. Well, there has to be somebody who doesn’t freak out when the baby gets a pea stuck in her nose (and it won’t be the mom).

The trusted babysitter. If you’re lucky, there are people in your zip code who share your DNA who can fill this role; if you’re not, you need to start trolling. You need this person, big-time.

The friend who’s a kick-ass cook. (Obvious)

The enterprising sister (or sister-in-law). Mine spent the first week of my daughter’s life painstakingly organizing thirty-plus years of photos into matching albums. You cannot put a price tag on this.

The rule-bending friend. You don’t necessarily want to follow her every example, but having a pal who isn’t afraid to do it her way will make you feel infinitely better about your own approach.

Get the idea? Please respond with your list, your stories, your advice. You can include examples of people you had around you whom you very much wished would go away. The more detail, the better!

BEST RESPONSE GETS A SURPRISE! (I promise not to jump naked out of your birthday cake.)

Much obliged, you guys.