One of my favorite websites, Betty Confidential, asked me if I would be willing to be interviewed by my husband Joe (who is affectionately
skewered immortalized in many of my books). I said why the hell not? I’ve got nothing to hide. Then I threatened Joe with castration if he made me look bad. So here you go!
JOE: I couldn’t help noticing that the title of your last book says “the sex-obsessed, not-so-handy man you married,” not the one you—Jenna McCarthy—married. That wasn’t an accident, right?
JENNA: Of course not, honey. You know as well as I do that you’re only one of those things.
JOE: I am pretty handy, aren’t I?
JENNA: I don’t call you MacGyver for nothing!
JOE: Are you sort of hoping people will think that’s you on the cover? Not because her/your head is in the oven, but those are some sweet legs.
JENNA: So what are you saying? Those Photoshopped, stock-photography legs are more attractive than my legs? The legs that carried the body that carried your children? That’s really nice.
JOE: O-kay, moving on. Of all of the millions of things that I do to annoy you—and I know there are millions because you detail them frequently and you also wrote a 300 page book about them—is there any one in particular that is slightly more annoying than the rest?
JENNA: Wow, tough question! I’d have to say of all of the many, many maddening things you do, that get-to-the-point hand gesture you make when I’m talking is the worst.
JOE: Yeah, sorry about that. But you have to admit you do talk a lot, and sometimes I start falling into a coma in the middle of one of your stories. I’m mostly just doing that to stay awake. But I still love you.
JENNA: Gee, thanks.
JOE: No problem. So you’ve said in interviews that writing this book has made you even happier in our marriage. What do you mean by that?
JENNA: You sound a little defensive, dear. Look, I always knew I scored when I married you, but honestly, until you hear stories of what other women are living with on a daily basis—from back hair-ripping to nipple flicking to the guy who goes postal when his wife steps on the bath mat with wet feet—you don’t always remember to count your blessings. I mean, sure you’re annoying, but now I realize it could be much, much worse. Plus you’ve seen me naked and you still love me and tell me I’m hot, so I’m thinking I am pretty lucky.
JOE: What are your wildest fantasies—
JENNA: Really? You‘re trying to turn this interview into Penthouse Forum?
JOE: I was trying to ask you, what are your wildest fantasies for this book?
JENNA: Oh, right. Sorry. Let’s see, that it sells ten million copies and then they spin it into a sitcom starring Kristen Wiig as me and Ryan Reynolds as you—well he’s a little young so either him or the guy who plays Phil Dunphy on Modern Family, not that you’re a dork but you still kind of remind me of him—and then I write the sequel and the sitcom sweeps the Emmys and we live happily ever after. Not that I’ve given it much thought.
JOE: I’m writing the rebuttal book. Any title suggestions?
JENNA: How about: What Were You Thinking? Living With and Loving the Diet Coke-Addicted, Shoe-Obsessed, Never-Stops-Talking Woman You Married?
JOE: Wow, you’re good.
JENNA: Thanks. I try.
Check out the original interview at BettyConfidential!