I feel like there are some things that never, ever go out of style. You know, like black alligator Kelly bags and crew neck cashmere sweaters UNLESS YOU’RE ALLERGIC and classic chestnut UGGs and Ray-Ban Wayfarers and fringy brown ponchos.

Fine, I threw the poncho in there. But I’m legit unsure: Do ponchos go in and out of style? I mean, I know sometimes they’re, like, super in style (1975 comes to mind, when my mom actually learned how to make them because we couldn’t afford to buy one in every color like I wanted). But a few years later do they go super out of style, the fashion equivalent of wearing Crocs or an ASK ME ABOUT MY MYSPACE PAGE t-shirt? (Which now that I think about could be totally hipster and I bet Urban Outfitters is already on that, dammit.)

I ask for a reason.


I’ve had this poncho for going on let’s just call it a long time, okay? I have a similar one in black because I was raised by hoarders to be a hoarder, and [braces self for famous-fashionista-friend attack YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE SUSAN SWIMMER AND JANE LARKWORTHY] I still wear both from time to time. With the right skinny jeans and suede knee-high boots and a cute bag, I usually feel like I’m pulling it off, or at least probably not being photographed for the People of Walmart blog.

And here’s the thing: I would probably keep right on wearing this thing if I weren’t a hormonal, menopausal freak whose internal thermostat vacillates from holy shit it’s Antarctica in here to you could fry bacon on my forehead about thirty-nine times a day. For the uninitiated, this means you must dress in six to eight sheer, tissue-thin, easy-to-shed layers at all times. Hot, heavy ponchos do not fit into this mix. In fact, I am in the middle of a hot flash as I write this, and just looking at that thing makes me want to rip off four more layers and run screaming into an icy shower.

How’s that for TMI?

Anyway, I am officially ditching this lovely bit of handiwork but I might keep the black one? and I feel cooler just having made that decision.