Remember when those long-tailed wrap sweaters were all the rage? I don’t either necessarily, but I’m pretty sure they were at least briefly because OF COURSE I still have several of them.

You got the rap reference, right?

This TV-blue one* is from BCBG, which I love. When I try it on when I’m deciding whether or not to wear it, I’ll usually pose roughly like this:

If you stand JUST SO, it looks like this.

Not too bad, in a weird way. But then there’s the side/back, which frankly makes no sense at all (see shlong-sleeve tee for similar issues).

But then–and this is is the worst–as soon as you stop holding the tails together, it starts edging into what I think is best described as IS IT A SWEATER OR A BATH TOWEL territory:


That look is almost immediately followed by this one, which if it had a mouth I’m positive would be screaming I’VE GIVEN UP THE WILL TO EVEN TRY TO LOOK PRESENTABLE:

Blah blah don’t like don’t wear I’m starting to sound like an Adam Ant song [GOOGLE IT, millennials!]. Seriously, either this is getting easier or my heart is beginning its slow descent into death. Either way, yay! 


*TV-blue is my kryptonite, you guys