Another confession (and I don’t know about you but I feel like all of those years of Catholic schooling are finally paying off here): I don’t just shop on my girls’ trips; I also shop for them. 

[That sound? Oh, just my husband shoving all of my credit cards into his shredder

Anyway, I bought this little Velvet dress (as in the brand, not the material) for one of my girly getaways. I loved the muted plum color, and the drapey neckline, and the buttery fabric Velvet is famous for. I could throw it on over a swimsuit or pair it with heels and wear it to dinner. I WAS GOING TO HAVE THIS DRESS FOREVER YOU GUYS. If I wanted to be buried–and I wholeheartedly do not–I would have wanted to be buried in this dress.

I wore it once.

Just the one time.

And then I washed it.

Just the one time.

And when I did, this happened.

Look closely and you might see OMG DO NOT LOOK CLOSELY.

If you look closely, you might just see my ass cheeks hanging out (please God don’t look that closely). I thought about saving it–you know, for when I start shrinking with age?–but that could take a while and I don’t even own any mothballs. I thought about sleeping in it but that just seems like a waste of a good dress that someone significantly shorter than me might want to be buried in love. 

So I’m letting it go. 

13 years of Catholic school, baby!

I predict good things will happen.