Sometimes an otherwise ordinary, perfectly-plain, nothing special sweater inexplicably becomes a beloved favorite. That’s what happened with this Target sweater. It was surely either $19.99 or $24.99 because Target, and I threw it willy-nilly into my cart because it’s not like you can pop into Target for band-aids and Drain-O and not leave with a new wardrobe IS THAT JUST ME?

I had no idea at the time that this would soon become my go-to top for driving carpool and hitting Costco and all of those other annoying occasions when I was forced to appear in public. And then one day I did something REALLY STUPID.

I cleaned in it.

With bleach. 

It’s worth noting here that my husband’s nickname for me is “Grace,” ostensibly because I have none.

Apparently this is particularly apropos when it comes to wielding bleach.

The little orange-y spots showed up immediately, and my elderly neighbors now know that “the crazy cat lady next door also has quite a potty mouth.

YES I COULD SAVE IT FOR AROUND THE HOUSE. But seeing it makes me sad and Marie Kondo would have my ass for that so I’m letting it go DO NOT TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF IT.