In My Defense*, this year was my kids’ elementary school’s fiftieth anniversary.

The GOLDEN anniversary, if you will. The theme of the auction, which you may recall is where I like to go each year and spend any money I’ve managed to save for my retirement over the previous twelve months, was gold.

Because obviously.

About five minutes after I heard that, I saw this top in a store window.

In a panic–what if this is the only gold thing I see for the rest of ever?–I snatched it up without even trying it on. It was a top; how bad could it be?


It turned out to be pretty bad. In addition to being just plain ugly–which isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker for the school auction–it was boxy and short and I couldn’t figure out what I’d wear on the bottom part. Fortunately I put everything else on hold and shopped day and night until I found a really cute gold, (wait for it) sequined (wait for it), strapless dress online that I loved.

Here I am sporting my new favorite gold sequined strapless dress with my friend, the famous paper towel model Hannah, in a totally natural, not at all staged photo someone snapped in the auction bathroom. (The photo has been strategically cropped because Hannah accidentally forgot to wear pants to the auction. It happens.)

Care for a paper towel?

So now that the auction is over and I have the sequined gold dress for my next fiftieth anything (LIKE MY BIRTHDAY TWO YEARS FROM TOMORROW OMG), I can let this ugly thing go.


*Definite future book title