I basically have two uniforms: Jeans and a white t-shirt, and jeans and a black t-shirt. If I’m not wearing my leopard bathrobe or my ripped Lulus, chances are I’m in one of those two getups. I have skinny jeans and stovepipes; boyfriends and boot-cuts. Oh, and four or five bedazzled pairs with bright white top-stitching. One in particular my husband calls my “hitters” (because they have small, high rear pockets; the kryptonite to Noassitol’s superpowers FYI) and someday in the far-off future, someone will have to pry them out of my cold, dead fingers because they’re my hitters.

Then there are these: 












Some of you will disagree with me here, but I don’t think they’re disgusting. I actually still like this style and would choose it all day every day over the HIGH WAISTED BUTTON-UPS I WORE IN 1982 THAT I’M SEEING IN STORES AND ON THE STREET OMG. But they’re taking up space and I never, ever wear them and I’m sure there’s someone out there who’s not concerned with things like current fashion trends who would love them as hard as I love my hitters.

Seriously, who’s wearing high-wasited jeans again? I need to know.