Newlywed Couple Tied up at Wedding Reception --- Image by © Ragnar Schmuck/Corbis

What You Don’t Know about Marriage

(How to Make It to ‘Til Death Do Us Part)

You say “I do,” he says “I do,” you kiss, people throw birdseed at you and give you fluffy new towels and a waffle iron and you live happily ever after. Right? Um, NO. The blunt truth: Marriage is hard, and it takes work. A lot of work. This frank and funny talk explores the proven strategies and scientific secrets to making it all the way to til-death-do-us-part without actually killing anyone. Key points include:

· The benefits of being married (Note: Married people are thinner AND make more money, and while I’m sure that’s enough to convince 99% of any audience to go ring-shopping, THAT IS JUST THE BEGINNING.)

· Why fighting is crucial to a happy marriage (yay!)

· How to stick to that pesky “forsaking all others” clause, even though only 4% of the 5,000 species of mammals on the planet even attempt it

· The one thing happy couples do every day that results in living longer, making more money and reducing their odds of getting into a car accident

· How Facebook can make OR break your marriage—and how to use it to achieve the former and avoid the latter

· The single thing that 90% of married men say makes them happiest of all (and shockingly, it’s NOT SEX)

· Why pretending to be interested in birds/sports/whatever-annoying-thing-your-partner-loves-and-you-don’t can be a marital game-changer

· The compelling scientific argument that justifies her obscene grooming budget and his love of beer/pie/wings

· Why movies like Sleepless in Seattle can kill your relationship

· Much more!